It's been almost a month that I have been living in the beauty of Costa Rica. One of the most beautiful things about my time here has been that I have lived it without regret. With gentle guidance, I have been able to seize moments. I have been able to see clearly enough to choose more wisely, and sometimes let go of that which at one time weighed heavy on my heart, but eventually faded far enough away.
So how will I describe Costa Rica?
Costa Rica is like a moment when you had every intention of leaving, but then good friends beg you stay. You know the errands won’t get run, you won’t finish the paper, you won’t be prepared for tomorrow, and you will most like be grumpy in the morning, but for whatever its worth, you know that the weight of regret will hurt much more than a simple surrender and yes to this moment here. That’s how Costa Rica pulls on your heart.
Being the maximizer that I am, I am realizing how much regret can destroy me. It takes me a good day to get over seeing a bad movie especially if I had to pay for it. With that in mind, the cost of a bad decision, or hurtful words I spoke jerk and pull on me until I find a way to somehow undo what’s been done. But this month has not been stained with regret. But I think the reason that that’s been possible is not because it’s all rainbows and butterflies here, (though there there mariposas are everywhere), but because my heart is being opened to be thankful for the smaller things.
My cup has been full of these "smaller" things. It’s been full of just enough.....just enough sunshine, rain, challenge, discouragement, connection, rest, awareness, naivety, brokeness....
Just enough sugar in my coffee, humiliation, uncontrollable laughter, thunder, games of Spit, phone calls and emails, silence, just enough time away.
And then over coffee Rosie tells us all that she’s be up to this weekend and what she’s learning, and for once she turns to us to ask us how to say something in english “como se dice en ingles, “estoy aprendiendo como amarla?”
“I am learning how to love her.”
" I em lerning who to lub her."
Exactly.
Just enough learning how to be human.
Speaking of being human....Lauren’s quote of our weekend adventure, drum roll please
“Oh no Dee, don’t worry, I got the fries cause you got the hotel.” I love you Laurie.
So how will I describe Costa Rica?
Costa Rica is like a moment when you had every intention of leaving, but then good friends beg you stay. You know the errands won’t get run, you won’t finish the paper, you won’t be prepared for tomorrow, and you will most like be grumpy in the morning, but for whatever its worth, you know that the weight of regret will hurt much more than a simple surrender and yes to this moment here. That’s how Costa Rica pulls on your heart.
Being the maximizer that I am, I am realizing how much regret can destroy me. It takes me a good day to get over seeing a bad movie especially if I had to pay for it. With that in mind, the cost of a bad decision, or hurtful words I spoke jerk and pull on me until I find a way to somehow undo what’s been done. But this month has not been stained with regret. But I think the reason that that’s been possible is not because it’s all rainbows and butterflies here, (though there there mariposas are everywhere), but because my heart is being opened to be thankful for the smaller things.
My cup has been full of these "smaller" things. It’s been full of just enough.....just enough sunshine, rain, challenge, discouragement, connection, rest, awareness, naivety, brokeness....
Just enough sugar in my coffee, humiliation, uncontrollable laughter, thunder, games of Spit, phone calls and emails, silence, just enough time away.
And then over coffee Rosie tells us all that she’s be up to this weekend and what she’s learning, and for once she turns to us to ask us how to say something in english “como se dice en ingles, “estoy aprendiendo como amarla?”
“I am learning how to love her.”
" I em lerning who to lub her."
Exactly.
Just enough learning how to be human.
Speaking of being human....Lauren’s quote of our weekend adventure, drum roll please
“Oh no Dee, don’t worry, I got the fries cause you got the hotel.” I love you Laurie.
1 comment:
dee-anna....me encanta tus pensimentos! Disfruta tu viaje. Nos vemos pronto. amor y un abrazo para ti! -michelle
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